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ZUKIWORLD Discussion Forum => Suzuki 4x4 Forum => Topic started by: wildgoody on November 16, 2003, 03:01:48 PM

Title: World's Fastest Samurai
Post by: wildgoody on November 16, 2003, 03:01:48 PM
Our hero was happily driving along a western
desert highway in his lifted and locked Samurai
when, all of a sudden, the beastly little 4x4 just
died. Perplexed, he pulled off to the shoulder,
got out and lifted the hood.

Now, being a suspension wizard, but knowing
nothing about motors, he just shrugged his
shoulders and resolved to try to flag someone
down.

After a short time, a dust cloud appeared on the
horizon, immediately preceded by a bullet
travelling at an extremely high rate of speed.
A Dodge Viper was upon him in no time. He
frantically waved his arms, but the bullet just
screamed past. Disappointed, thinking that the
driver had not seen him, he turned to slowly
walk back to his ailing Samurai.

Arriving at the side of his Suzuki, he heard the
squeal of tires and looked back to see the Viper
returning in reverse. Out from the car climbed a
long, lean individual, kind of a young Clint
Eastwood of the spaghetti western days.

The owner of the Dodge offered to help the
Samurai guy out by giving him a tow to the
next town, about 20 miles down the road.
Accepting graciously, our hero only requested
that the Viper keep it below 40 mph, because
Samurais, as we all know, are subject to spontaneous
roll-overs at anything more than crawling velocities.
Upon departure, the Dodge guy gave our comrade
instructions to simply flash the headlights if he began
to travel too fast. As they slowly pulled onto the road,
our Samurai guy switched on his emergency flashers,
not noticing that the right side rear light was not functioning.

Following along at tow rope length behind the
Viper, Mr. Samurai then saw another dust cloud
in his rearview. It was closing so fast on his 4x4
that he braced for a rear end collision.
However, the Corvette driver got on the binders
at the last instant and laughed at the scare he
gave to our off-road enthusiast.

Only when pulling out to pass did the Corvette driver
see the low slung Viper in front of the short but tall Samurai.

Now, sports car drivers being the species of animal
that they are, simply cannot stand to be overtaken
by another car. So, the Dodge guy slammed it into
third and proclaimed, "We're off to the races". Our
hero, realizing the situation, began frantically to
flash his headlights, but to no avail. 70, 80, 90,
100 mph and climbing. Helpless, the Samurai guy
valiantly gripped the steering wheel as the two
maniacs screamed down the road, side by side...

With the speed still climbing, the three-car convoy
reached the crest of a hill and broke down over the
other side. "Uh oh," a radar trap. However, the
drivers of the Viper and Corvette didn't even get
off the gas and screamed past the cop at 130 mph!!!

The police officer jumped into his black and white,
headed out in pursuit and radioed ahead for
backup.

"Attention County Sheriff Smith, Attention Sheriff
Smith, We've got a heck of a drag race out
here on the Interstate. A Viper and a Corvette
passed side by side through my radar at 130
miles an hour, with a Suzuki Samurai hot on their
tail, signalling to let him pass!!!"

Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: DSHornet on November 16, 2003, 08:29:15 PM
ROFLMAO!

Don, y'all
.
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: tonka-toy on November 16, 2003, 10:09:31 PM
lol ;D
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: jdraper on November 16, 2003, 10:34:12 PM
And the response from Sheriff Smith...."OK sonny, you been smokin' crack again boy??  Ain't no way, NO WAY any (stock) Samurai is doin over 60 mph unless it's downhill behind a semi!!
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: UberAsuna on November 17, 2003, 12:49:01 AM
oh god LOLOL  ;D thats a good way to start my day at work :P thx for that story hehehe
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: r0ckstarr79 on November 17, 2003, 01:33:24 AM
That was a great story. Made me laff so hard. :D
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: Bigzook on November 17, 2003, 03:04:27 AM
lmao!!!! that was great!
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: brlj on November 17, 2003, 07:34:08 AM
Dude that was one hell of a story!!  ;D ;D ;D

The end had me rolling on the floor....

Later,
Bill
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: 1bigtracker on November 17, 2003, 07:43:52 AM
OMG that was the best,  make a nother.   LOL     lata stu
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: Maiden Hell on November 17, 2003, 12:47:25 PM
That was a great story, you should be a writer, Wildgoody.  :)
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: wildgoody on November 17, 2003, 04:53:20 PM
I've been told I should do something with my
writing talent, but alass, this is simply borrowed.
It would be plagiarizing if I were to take credit
for this.

But hey, why not pass along a good story!!
;D
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: ntjoe on November 17, 2003, 11:13:57 PM
LOL...That was great! I just blew coffee thru my nose!

Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: 97TRAKIN on November 18, 2003, 06:29:53 AM
FUNNY AS H$LL! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: 1bigtracker on November 18, 2003, 01:52:00 PM
I think you got 2 thumbs up for that.  lata stu
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: NY_SIDEKICKER on November 18, 2003, 02:01:24 PM
I FINALLY HAD A QUIET MOMENT TO READ THIS.... ;D WAY TO FUNNY GREAT THREAD....
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: trackinstile on November 18, 2003, 10:38:54 PM
That was fantastic, no matter who wrote it, I had a rough day at work today, and that's just what I needed for a good laugh.  Thanks ;D
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: tonka-toy on November 18, 2003, 11:21:22 PM
Quote
And the response from Sheriff Smith...."OK sonny, you been smokin' crack again boy??  Ain't no way, NO WAY any (stock) Samurai is doin over 60 mph unless it's downhill behind a semi!!


errr not exactly true
i bought my girlfriend a 1.3 sammi the other day and it did a steady 75-80 over a 250 mile journey with only fuel stops ( and to shake off the white finger from the vibrations ) :o
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: ebewley on November 19, 2003, 12:41:39 AM
Quote


errr not exactly true
i bought my girlfriend a 1.3 sammi the other day and it did a steady 75-80 over a 250 mile journey with only fuel stops ( and to shake off the white finger from the vibrations ) :o


Yeah but that's 75-80 metric miles per hour... right? LOL You were actually doing 25! :)

-Eric
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: tonka-toy on November 19, 2003, 02:00:26 AM
a true  reading of 75-80 as i was behind in the vw golf tdi.
by the way .... i wouldn't advise cornering at this speed as it has a tendancy to discolour underwear ... trust me  :-/

fookin s|removethispart|@#* myself :-[
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: ghd23 on November 20, 2003, 06:22:46 AM
 8) 8) 8) I'll have another cup of that!!! George;
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: NY_SIDEKICKER on April 08, 2004, 01:23:56 PM
BUMP
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: 1bigtracker on April 08, 2004, 01:38:20 PM
man and thats still one of thge funnyest things i have ever read.

stu
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: explosivo on April 09, 2004, 12:59:18 PM
LOL  :D ;D
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: HotRod on April 09, 2004, 01:53:44 PM
I read it again and my eyes still water with laughter ;D :D ;D :D
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: ArkansasTracker on April 09, 2004, 02:23:28 PM
Gotta forward it to my Heep buddy!  Funny stuff.
J
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: 1bigtracker on November 29, 2004, 10:47:48 AM
YAY!  my favorite story!

stu
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: Zukipilot on November 29, 2004, 09:44:49 PM
How did I miss this one ;D That's great ;D
Zig
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: tracker8wr on November 30, 2004, 01:05:12 AM
that rocks. lol lol lol!!!!
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: 1bigtracker on September 17, 2005, 07:05:04 AM
bumpage

Stu
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: sergi on September 17, 2005, 07:28:21 AM
Wow, that was a very good story!  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: Gary_Hill on September 18, 2005, 12:19:40 AM
Now thats FKN FUNNY. I don't care who you are....A GET'R DONE SAMURI ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: heiney.5 on October 30, 2009, 09:07:31 AM
Thats great. Thanks for the laugh.


Looks like this board has a lot of good stuff from 2003, shame to see it getting buried. Maybe I need to search more for that era...so how many days would that be?   ;)
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: NYSIDEKICKER on December 31, 2009, 10:50:41 AM
bump... OH I REMEMBER THIS ONE STILL JUST AS FUNNY THE SECOND TIME AROUND ;D
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: Merlin93 on December 31, 2009, 11:46:53 AM
Great Story!
Reminds me of the 1958 song by the Playmates:  "Beep Beep"
 (and I guess that dates me!)
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: elf on January 01, 2010, 03:30:47 PM
LMAO!!!!!! that will make anyone smile and brightin a day
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: jawman on January 01, 2010, 09:51:35 PM
That was the best thing I have rear in ever. that makes me feel a lot better. Now I will have something to laugh about while I am yelling at the trackick wondering whats wrong with it.
Title: Re: Worlds Fastest Samurai
Post by: wildgoody on March 14, 2011, 08:51:58 AM
Since this subject came up, in a manner of normal posts, I thought it appropriate to bring it up again
Title: Re: World's Fastest Samurai
Post by: Zukipilot on March 14, 2011, 09:18:35 AM
Good stuff from the old days...  :laugh:

Zig