So for the past few weeks I've noticed that my car keeps locking itself. It will do this for nearly five minutes at a time, random intervals between locks, and will take a break for an even more random time span.

I replaced the batter to my key fob; didn't help. I've taken the battery out of the key fob and that didn't solve it either. I even kept the fob out of transmitting range. I unplugged the battery for nearly a day and a half.

Any ideas? 

sounds like a shorted wire sending power to the power locks,  i dont know if there is a relay for them, but you may want to check into it, a faulty relay can cause this as well.

Check the owners manual.  On my 2005 GV the doors will relock if the drivers door is not opened within a certain amount of time after the fob is actuated.  Drove me crazy for a while.

Does it do this at all locations or just in your driveway?

Could it be stray EMF or radio remote transmitter in your
neighborhood? Did you loose one of your remotes and
a neighborhood kid is messing with you, LOL that could
drive you nuts solving that one

Wild

I have similar issue with my neighbors garage door opener, I'm assuming.